Fic Rec

[altocello]

I don't rec much. I should do it more, and I'm starting with this:

"you'll have gone so far (will you leave me here, dying?)"
Fandom/Rating: Merlin (TV-series), PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Gaius-centric (Gaius/Merlin father-son; Arthur/Merlin; Arthur/Gwen; Gwen/Leon)
Genre: Gen, drama
Warning: Spoilers for the Merlin finale.
Summary: “I’ll have your favourite meal waiting for you.” And Gaius has—for years. 9k+

Told from Gaius's POV; that despairing hope that happens when a child is alive but lost and doesn't come home. So, uh, a warning for angst is probably appropriate.

Beautiful. Made me cry, and I went straight back to the beginning to read it again. And that's as coherent as I'll be about it for a while, I suspect.

Comments

[kathyh]

I saw that one and thought it looked good. I've made a mental note to read it when I'm feeling strong enough to cope with the angst. The thought of Gaius waiting for Merlin to come home just makes my heart hurt.

[altocello.livejournal.com]

NGL, the angst factor is high. And that thought makes my heart hurt too. I kind of have a head canon where Merlin doesn't go back to Camelot, and this follows along with that to an extent, so I got to see someone else explore that idea.

[kathyh]

Merlin not going back to Camelot is my head canon too, though I try to persuade myself he would go back to see Gaius occasionally.

[altocello.livejournal.com]

See, I WANT to believe that, but I just can't, and that's what breaks me up so much about it.

I was really glad to see this fic because this one looks at the grief of everyone else Arthur and Merlin left behind when their grand destiny came to a crashing end. And it's from the viewpoint of one of my favorite characters. :D

[hopeisathreat.livejournal.com]

Can I just... take a second to scream at you? Or cry at your feet? Or kiss your feet? Or have an absolute breakdown?

Holy fuck I don't know what to say, I. God. Just. omg thank you ever so, so, so, so, so fucking much, I don't deserve this. Thank you so much, jfc. Ugh.

*sits in corner and is embarrassed*

No just really. You don't know how much this means to me. Thank you so, so, so much. I'm sitting here blinking and trying not to... like, you know, if I stare one second too long this entry will vanish and I know I'll have imagined it or something. Ugh.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG

[altocello.livejournal.com]

{{{{hugs}}}} You deserve it. Your fic deserves it.

So yeah, you totally broke me, and I'm only just now beginning to be coherent about it, 12 hours later. *watery smile*

You wrote a fic that totally dealt with a heartache in my head canon, that Merlin doesn't return to Camelot with Percival (he's certainly not in the scene where they declare "Long Live the Queen"), and how that would break Gaius' heart. I loved loved loved how you had him prepare that favorite meal so faithfully, every day. And the litany of the cinnamon, sugar, and salt. I think sometimes in grief we rely on routine to help bring us through, and his was to do what he said he would do for the son of his heart. And I adore that Gaius' faith in his dear boy was not misplaced in the end.

[hopeisathreat.livejournal.com]

omg you guys have seriously broken me. someone else also recced this fic. omg. thank you ever so, so, so, so, so much. bloody hell.

[altocello.livejournal.com]

I applaud their good taste. :D *hugs you, and passes you the superglue, it sounds like you need it*